


Always

by foolsgolden



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Zayn, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Morning Sex, PWP, Soft sex, Top Liam, blowjob, but very gentle, slight power bottom zayn, what else do I put here lakdflasdkf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-01 08:47:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13994697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolsgolden/pseuds/foolsgolden
Summary: “Yeah,” Liam’s going to kiss Zayn now, and Zayn’s compliant. “I’m here.”Here, right next to him. Where he’ll always end up being.Suddenly Zayn doesn’t feel so nervous any more....(Or, the ridiculously sappy morning sex fic no one asked for but got anyway.)





	Always

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deniallisstrong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deniallisstrong/gifts).



> Full Disclosure: I haven't actually written a longform fanfiction in....well, years, let alone smut. But I got the urge to write something sappy and sweet and wonderful and 7k words later, this was born.
> 
> That being said, this is a very, very soft, fluffy smut. I think as much as sex can be hot and desperate and passionate, sex can be soft too, soft and gentle and sweet. I don't think there's enough of that around, so I decided to write with this in mind and create a very self indulgent fantasy.
> 
> Anyway, hopefully you enjoy this as much as I do! xx

Sleeping next to Zayn has to be one of Liam’s favorite things to do.  
  
He’s come to appreciate it even more with time. It’s just generally the smaller things- watching the way Zayn’s brown draws up in concentration when he’s wrought with focus, the way he drapes himself lazily over any remotely comfortable surface in the house, to the ways his eyes droop when he’s struggling to keep himself awake.  
  
It’s these things that Liam finds himself missing the most, which is why he’s come to appreciate them the way he has. He doesn’t even think he can count how many times he’s thought about the way Zayn’s lip sticks out at him when he’s frustrated or wants something in particular. It’s good daydream material while he takes the third, fourth, or fifth plane ride in a month to another country to do more press and more promo and more everything- all while feeling like his heart is dragging behind him all the way.  
  
And of course, it’s not as if he’s anything but grateful for the position he’s in now. He can’t even begin to comprehend how thankful he is for everything- for x factor, for the band, for the boys, all the experiences he’s gotten to live and all the love he’s gotten to have, the support, and now everything all over again during a career of his own. He’s so, so incredibly floored at the blessings he’s accumulated in his life, and he knows he always will be, but as much as it’s incredible and wonderful and he wouldn’t want to trade what he’s gotten to have for anything else- it’s hard too. Hard to be away from home so much, to keep going when it feels like he’s given his last three weeks ago, and _especially_ hard to only be able to see the ones he loves in fleeting, finite moments, for a couple of days during a layover between events or maybe only an afternoon before he goes off to the next country to do something else, and often times he finds himself wanting just another day. A couple of days. A week, just something a little longer so his heart doesn’t feel like it’s being stretched between a million obligations.  
  
Today, or this morning rather, he tries not to think about any of this. These feelings, these moments of bliss where he can be with the one he loves and not have to worry about the next booking, the next city, the next song, the next _anything_ are so few and far in between these days, he can’t afford to waste it stressing. He knows if Zayn was awake he’d be doing exactly that as well, so instead he lets himself bask in the flittering light of the sun by the window in their bedroom and watches the way Zayn’s chest rises and falls gently while he sleeps.  
  
His hairs all messy now that it’s getting longer- Liam quite likes it the longer it gets but Z always complains about how much of a fuss it gets to be when it goes to a certain length and Liam understands that. He’d shaved a few days ago so his beard is down but the stubble is thickening still and coming in especially defined along the edges of his jaw. His eyelashes are spanning ridiculously long in the way they do across the tops of his cheekbones and his brow’s drawn apart and gentle. He looks serene, and downright ethereal glowing in the morning light, and while Liam always, _always_ appreciates the degree to which Zayn has engrained himself into his heart, he can’t help but feel especially fond over it now.  
  
Liam’s hand gently comes to brush against the corners of Zayn’s forehead, swatting aside the stray hairs that have managed to collect in the way. The other’s face wrinkles a bit at this, and a moment of tension forms between his brows before Zayn’s eyes flutter open and flit over to Liam tiredly.  
  
“Sorry love,” Liam chuckles gently and Zayn scrunches his nose a bit as he can feel the air leave Liam and puff across his face. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”  
  
“S’alright.” Zayn’s voice is slurred with sleep but his face is full of fondness all drawn up by his smile.  
  
“Morning Handsome.” Zayn pulls Liam down from where he was hovering over him more so, just until their faces are inches apart and he can stare into the other’s earth colored eyes still riddled with sleepiness from the night past.  
  
Liam tries not to preen so much at the nickname, but his grin gives it away as it threatens to stretch open his cheeks and crack his face from ear to ear. He had been dating Zayn for years now- it felt like a little eternity in itself almost, but he still found himself flushing under his attention at times as if they were strangers at that competition again. He feels dorky now, and to rectify the mood he leans down swiftly and presses a kiss to the other’s nose- once, then twice.  
  
“Good morning angel.” Liam murmurs against the man in between nose kisses, moving past to pepper his entire face with kisses and revel in the gentle chuckles that come from Zayn’s mouth.  
  
After a sufficient minute or so of dousing his love’s face in feather light kisses, Liam considers his work to be sufficient and goes to pull away. Zayn however seems to disagree with the notion, and tuts a disapproving “uh-uh” as he drags the other back down by his shoulders.  
  
“Come on now,” Zayn dismays, but Liam can tell by the flicker behind his eyes there’s no edge to his composure. “Kiss me proper.”  
  
Liam actually laughs at that, and while he could bring up a hefty arsenal of times that Zayn’s teased and has honestly been a downright vixen to him, he holds his tongue out of love and saves it for another time. Instead he leans down obediently and nuzzles Zayn’s nose a few time for good measure before finally deciding to lay his lips upon the others.  
  
It’s a bit exciting, to gauge the kind of maneuver Zayn will take when he’s like this. Liam knows more than anyone that Zayn likes to tease and tease and _tease_ , but even at times he gets tired of that and just prefers to get what he wants. He’s incredibly spoiled- and Liam knows he’s to blame for it, but in a way he likes the bit of sass that Zayn comes with as well. It’s an animal in the charm and beauty he doesn’t mind taking his chances with.  
  
Today Zayn seems less in the mood to for a chase. He can tell in the way the other comes up to wrap his hands around the nape of his neck and tug him down closer. Liam chuckles into the kiss to let him know he knows what he’s doing, and Zayn swats him before bringing him in for another. Their lips are soft and warm and slot together in a way that only comes from lots of practice, and Liam can taste the tartness of Zayn’s morning breath but he finds it endearing.  
  
Zayn’s pressing against him now, leaning up and moving to push Liam on his back. Liam lets him because he’d do anything to please Zayn, and also because he likes it when Zayn’s just a bit pushy with him. They land with Zayn straddling his hips, still leaning in and giving him moments of kisses, gentle but teasing with edge, a promise of more to come.  
  
They kiss just like that- maybe for two, three more minutes, but the time feels slow and thick and honey dripped before they finally pull apart again.  
  
Zayn’s got that smirk on his face- that smirk that’s got Liam’s heart rate picking up out of instinct because he knows Zayn’s got him right where he wants him and he’s so willing for that.  
  
“Happy to see me are you?” Z’s looking rather triumphant, and most likely because he’s sat upon Liam’s stiffy like a king upon his throne, and the comparison isn’t that unrelated in all honesty.  
  
Liam lets out a low whine with his prick caught between his boxer briefs and Zayn’s (bony) bum. “You did this on purpose.”  
  
Zayn hums innocently at the accusation. Instead, he leans back, pretending to rock innocently as if considering the statement and not as all as if he was purposely grinding his rear on Liam’s quickly stiffening rod.  
  
Liam groans, half of the pleasure and half of the frustration, but he can sense Zayn isn’t wanting to work too hard for it this morning. He’s just poking him, wanting a little fun before he gets it.  
  
Liam decides to test his theory when he shifts up and pulls Zayn by his waist towards him, fully into his lap so he’s looking up at him like he likes it.  
  
“Frisky this morning aren’t we?” Liam grins up at Zayn tenderly, and Zayn can’t help but return the gesture and place his to gently cup his love’s face.  
  
“Yeah,” Zayn hums simply and leans in to place a kiss on the other’s nose. “Want your dick.”  
  
“Well, since you asked so _nicely_ ,” Liam mutters into the other’s space and Zayn playfully raps his fingers against his cheek before leaning in for another kiss. Liam returns it as dutifully as always.  
  
The kisses this time around are a little more purposeful, a little longer and a little more sensual. Zayn is quick to find his rhythm and slot his mouth against Liam’s, and even quicker to prop open his lips and flick against Liam’s to entice him inside. Liam rediscovers Zayn’s remnants of morning breath and has to withhold the chuckle in his throat, but he makes his stake regardless and pushes their tongues together until he hears the softest whimper from Zayn. Liam slides his hands up Zayn’s bare back and Zayn complies to let Liam’s huge hands envelope him in warmth so long as he keeps kissing him, tongue sliding against his over and over and feeding a stream of arousal directly below to his bulge.  
  
Liam loves kissing Zayn. He’s done it countless time over the course of their relationship, but each slot of their lips together and the heavy feeling of his tongue in the other’s mouth; pressed so close with Zayn making the most gentle and quiet noises, it’s hard to feel more content. Usually he kisses Zayn so much he has to tell him to stop, to gently try and pry him away from his mouth and towards anywhere else on his body, but Zayn likes Liam to be happy too and even if he gets carried away its still good, so good, so he lets Liam continue to kiss him past breathless until he’s finally got his fix.  
  
Liam’s reluctant to pull away from the warm familiarity of Zayn’s mouth, but he’s got other plans for elsewhere on the man. He kisses down his cheek sloppy and Zayn giggles at the contact, past his jaw where he kisses his stubble tenderly and sweet and down to his favorite spot- just above his pulse point, he latches on and sucks. Zayn’s giggles abruptly hitch and trail off into a staggered moan as Liam sucks, just hard enough to leave a nice little mark but not hard enough for the feeling to prickle. Liam doesn’t talk about it but Zayn knows just as much as he finds himself possessive over his lover Liam’s just as possessive, maybe not as outwardly but in his own little ways like this. Marks, gentle but present, touches, quiet little remarks. Liam knows where Zayn will stay- right by him, but it never hurts to press a reminder of home into the other’s skin and Zayn likes that quite a bit.  
  
Zayn doesn’t need to look at his neck to know there’s going to be a nice little mark blooming there, and Liam moves over to the other side of his neck to pepper the area in marks as well. Gentle reminders of this moment- little memories of their togetherness.  
  
Once Liam makes it down to Zayn’s collarbone he’s sporting quite the erection, but Zayn lets Liam takes his time because the moments they get like this are becoming scarcer and he doesn’t want it to end. He loves just being connected to Liam, inside and out, with his skin on his own in every sense, and he wants to drag out the moment so he can think about it for weeks to come when they’re thousands of miles apart. Liam’s teeth press gently across Zayn’s collarbone and he whines at the contact before Liam goes down further, leaving trails of kisses and nail marks in his hip as he drags him closer to let him know he’s not going anywhere. He’s right there.  
  
If Liam had it his way this moment would stretch out endlessly, and he could relive the way Zayn gasps and curls underneath his touch over and over again while he’s pressed right up underneath him because he _loves_ him- everything he is and all that he does, endlessly and without remorse. Liam wants to hang on the end of Zayn’s moans and wrap himself around Zayn’s body, he wants to swim in the glaze of his eyes as Liam sucks a mark into him just right. He’d love to hang on the end of his lips like a dying cigarette, reveling in the feeling of everything that is him in its entirety, because its moments like this that remind Liam of why it feels like all his feelings live and end within the other, with Zayn, because he drives him completely mad in the best way and he wants this to be his forever. He loves him, he loves him so _so_ **_so_** much, and because he loves him and wants to make him feel good and would do anything to please him and keep pleasing him over and over and over again, he wills himself to move on. To drag out the feelings but not stretch them because as much as Zayn loves to tease he knows what he wants and he can’t deny him, he _won’_ t deny him.  
  
“Love you,” Liam murmurs against the other’s happy trail, kissing the path and the skin as he pushes Zayn down to lie fully flush against the bed.  
  
“Love you too,” Zayn mimics easily, his heart fluttering at the remark (even though Liam says it to him constantly) and the fond coming back to his face with a grin and a flush of his cheeks. His head’s bent a bit awkwardly down to look at Liam down by his boxer briefs, and he’s sure he’s got a double chin and doesn’t look the best but Liam’s still looking up at him like he’s hung the stars and the sun and the moon in the sky and put them in rotation, so he doesn’t have much time to dwell on the feeling.  
  
Liam’s moving Zayn’s hips up gently, Zayn catching on quickly and lifting as Liam only somewhat gracefully tugs Zayn’s underwear down his legs. His cock slaps against his belly eagerly as Liam tosses the article of clothing off the side of the bed.

Zayn hates how Liam’s face is literally two inches from his erect dick and he still has that sappy, love-struck, absolutely fond look on his face as if Zayn single handedly created the universe with one fell swipe of his dick, and as much as he loves Liam and all of his softness, his dick’s still exposed to open air and untouched and he’d quite like to change that.  
  
“Leem,” Zayn calls, watching as some switch flips in Liam’s head and he looks up at him curiously.  
  
“I know it’s quite wonderful, but if you could stop looking at my prick like you’re in love with it, that’d be nice.” Zayn snorts and Liam laughs at that, moving to hover over Zayn’s erection tauntingly.  
  
“It’s a part of you,” Liam starts before going down, giving an experimental lick to the other’s head and smirking when he’s rewarded with a moan. “And I love you, so I believe this is included in the package. No pun intended.”  
  
And Liam winks, fucking winks in the way that could barely be considered one since he uses both of his fucking eyes as he goes down on him, and if Zayn weren’t so in love with the man who currently has his dick in his mouth he could have honestly slapped him in that moment.  
  
Zayn used to like it when Liam had long hair and it would get into his face when he went to town on sucking his prick, his beautiful thick cherry lips wrapped around him bobbing up and down without modesty or abandon as his brow drew up in focus, concentrated entirely on providing Zayn with as much pleasure as possible. He can’t actually tug on his hair with the buzzcut, but its soft and Zayn resolves to instead run his fingers gently across the other’s scalp in encouragement while he whispers gentle things as Liam’s got a mouthful of him.  
  
“Fuck, you’re so good for me aren’t you?” Zayn mutters, a ghost of a smile flittering past his moans as Liam eagerly sucks him, coming up with a pop just in time to look bashful.  
  
“So good,” Zayn continues as Li spreads his tongue flat against the underside of his cock. “Make me feel so good, you know?”  
  
Liam looks down, and Zayn smiles gently because he knows he’s hiding his blush and it makes his heart melt to know even after all this time he’s still just a bashful as when he met him. Liam’s at the base now, nuzzling and pushing his tongue up and down the length of his shaft while one of his hands comes up to cup his balls. Zayn hisses, his hands going to grip Liam’s head but with no leverage instead scratch emptily at his scalp.  
  
“Come on,” Zayn grits through his teeth. “You’re too good now, gonna make me cum.”  
  
Liam pops off obediently as he always is, and Zayn hums and pats his cheek affectionately as a thank you. Zayn takes the time to look at Liam’s lips, all red and swollen and glossy for the blowjob he just gave, and stores the image mentally for his spank bank later on. Zayn leans up and gives the other a few gentle kisses on the cheek, to which Liam returns before leaning back and going off to fiddle in the drawers.  
  
“How do you want it babe?” Liam calls from the drawer, digging around for the nearly empty bottle of lube that may or may not be in the drawer along with a rubber. Usually Zayn would ask Liam to forgo it since they’re exclusive and have already been tested regularly, but it makes the cleanup easier and Zayn is still too sleep lazy to want to bother dealing with the aftermath of bare backing.  
  
Zayn hums thoughtfully at the request however. Liam usually always asks him how he wants it but he thinks today he wants it classic. He loves to watch Liam’s face as they make love, the way his face tenses with concentration and the sounds he makes when it’s just as good for him as it is for Zayn.  
  
“Missionary you think?” Zayn yawns, already having set back against the bed to lazily stare at the ceiling waiting for Liam.  
  
“Ha!” Liam hums a little victory jingle to himself when he finally manages to locate the lube, and Zayn has to withhold his snort at the dorkiness of his own lover.  
  
Liam comes back to settle between Zayn’s legs, drawing his gaze towards him as he gently nudges his legs apart to sit between them comfortably.  
  
Liam goes to rip open the condom- once, twice, thrice, before dropping it, huffing in irritation as he reaches to grab it again and go- only to have the stubborn foil resist again. Zayn watches in amusement as Liam fumbles with the rubber for at least 30 more seconds before he huffs and whines for Zayn- who chuckles and kisses him (Liam seems unamused by this) before taking the condom and opening it for him.  
  
Zayn takes the liberty to roll it on Liam as well, the motion fluid and gentle and Liam sighs as Zayn handles him so gently.  
  
Liam can see Zayn’s lost his desire to stretch it out as he makes grabby hands for the lube, and Liam hands it over and leans back as Zayn dutifully lubes up his own fingers and goes to work himself.  
  
Liam doesn’t protest because he knows he’s getting a show as Zayn slides his legs apart proactively to give him a better view.  
  
Zayn admits that Liam’s fingers are probably better for this- thicker around and know just how to please him and hit his spots, and he knows no matter how many times they do this he always needs to be stretched good for it. He sinks his middle finger slowly past his ring of flesh, hissing for effect at the penetration and inwardly smirking when he can spy Liam biting his lip from the corner of his eye.  
  
His ministrations are slow and deliberate. Zayn loves it when Liam watches him like he’s doing, and the man’s eyes are dark and tense, clouded with lust and adoration and if Zayn weren’t so concentrated on stretching himself he might just be flushing under the contact. He adds a second finger, his ring finger, making scissoring motions to stretch himself out this time and trying to will away the temptation to go directly for his prostate already. He’s impatient, growing more and more feverish for it by the minute but he still wants to make it hot for Liam so he musters up whatever willpower he has left and adds a third. He keeps scissoring himself open wide and making taught, concentrated little noises between a whimper and a grunt, occasionally letting out a curse when he gets too near to his spot. It’s getting to be long now and Zayn knows he’s not stretched enough, but Liam knows it too by the way his brow creases disdainfully and he shuffles up closer between his spread legs. Zayn knows what Liam’s doing and he lays back, stares at the ceiling and focuses on the feeling of another finger sliding in beside his own because he knows if he watches Liam do it he’s not going to last.  
  
Zayn’s fingers are impatient and frenzied, trying to speed up the process and clamoring against Liam’s slower, more methodic fingers that know much better what they’re doing. Liam begins to chuckle and eventually tugs gently on Zayn’s on wrist- causing him to whine impatiently but he complies. He withdraws his own fingers and lets Liam take over, only because he loves him and he knows that Liam _knows_ just how to take care of him. Zayn’s already stretched a good amount so the process doesn’t take much longer, Liam sliding in one, then two, and finally three fingers in practiced, shallow thrusts, purposefully avoiding Zayn’s prostate because they both know he’s too close for teasing. Zayn’s making the most delightful noises, the softest breathiest moans and Liam’s pretty sure he’s going to pass out soon if any more blood goes to his dick. He’s impatient too- and he makes quick work of finishing Zayn up before pulling his fingers from him with a squelch and reaching for the lube.  
  
“Lemme do it.” Zayn swats his hand, and Liam rolls his eyes fondly as Zayn uncaps the lube and squirts the rest of the bottle into his hand with a few rather disgusting sounding squirts. He resists the urge to chuckle and instead leans forward and goes to plant a gentle kiss on Zayn’s lips as he slicks him up with lube.  
  
“Ready?” Liam prompts as he hovers over Zayn now, staring into his gentle face slick with sweat and clouded with lust and a little frustration before leaning down to gently plant a kiss upon his brow.  
  
“If you take any longer I might just finish m’self.” Zayn quips back, but there’s no malice in his words. Liam still quirks his eyebrow as if to ask the other ‘ _Oh really now?_ ’ but the roll of Zayn’s hips forwards tells Liam enough of what he means.  
  
Liam grips Zayn’s thighs tenderly to nudge them apart. Zayn’s ankles easily find Liam’s shoulders and Liam focuses on laying gentle kisses up and down Zayn’s calf as he pushes into him all slow and sweet and honey like. Zayn’s breath hitches when he feels Liam’s head push into his ring, but Liam’s leaning away from his legs and down towards him to pull him into a kiss.  
  
Zayn’s hands are carding through Liam’s buzzed hair and tracing idle patterns as Liam moves from his lips to his neck- lightly pushing his lips up and down his blooming hickeys like little apologies Zayn knows he doesn’t mean.  
  
Zayn feels so content- so full, and Liam’s chuckling at him because it shows on his face how blissed out he is. His eyes are all lidded and he’s got the fondest grin on his face that’s spreading from ear to ear. Liam’s struck with how much he absolutely adores this man all over again.  
  
“Go ahead big guy,” Zayn preens and Liam tries not to completely unravel at one of his favorite pet names. Instead he focuses on pleasing the one he loves the most by pulling out slowly and reveling in the drag his cock makes along Zayn’s walls- and by the pleased little grunt he gets he takes it as a sign to continue before he pushes in again.  
  
Liam’s built up a gentle pace before long and it’s all leisurely. The burning agitation the two seemed to pick up along the way is gone, and with Liam’s cock filling him up and emptying him and filling him up again, Zayn feels so content and pleasured to just lie there and let Liam take care of him. Zayn’s sure he’s told Liam how much he loves it when he fills him up, time and time again in every variation of tone, but he feels the need to say it again.  
  
And so he does. “So good,” Zayn murmurs, sated and sweet as he leisurely watches Liam push in and out of him. “Always so good for me, you know?”  
  
Liam responds positively by picking up the pace a little and Zayn knows he’s got him. Liam doesn’t say it because he doesn’t need to, Zayn knows how much he loves it when he tells him how good he is because that’s just the kind of person Liam is. A pleaser in all aspects, from his friends to his business partners to especially, and most importantly Zayn. He wants nothing more than to make him happy, and when Zayn tells him how good he’s doing and how much he loves it when he’s pleasing him, Liam melts, and Zayn beams because this is truly the man he loves.  
  
“C’mere.” Zayn mumbles softly and Liam obeys just like he always does, his head crooked down so he can leer over Zayn and watch his sated expression bounce gently between at peace and pleasure prickled, searching for the affirmation that he’s good, because he wants nothing more than to be good for Zayn. So, so good.  
  
Zayn’s hands cup Liam’s face gently when he comes down, and Zayn looks at Liam’s face, pleased and only the slightest bit drawn up with the concentration of moving in and out of him. His legs go to wrap around Liam’s waist to change the angle- and Liam moves easier into him this time, and Zayn lets out a shuddering moan when Liam comes close his spot, the movement beckoning not a proposition but a premonition.  
  
“Do you- ** _Ah_**!” Zayn moans as Liam prods up curiously at his prostate this time. He’s teasing, he knows he’s not ready to really give it to him yet and he just wants to give him a taste of what’s coming.  
  
“Do you remember the first time we did this?” Zayn’s expression has unfurled and settled back into stated now, and Liam grins bashfully at the question.  
  
“Yeah,” Liam answers, pausing to give a few more gentle thrusts up into Zayn’s pleasure center before coming back down to his gentle pace. Zayn whines and swats at him to quit teasing which only makes him grin.  
  
“We couldn’t even get it in the first time. Had to just jerk each other for a month until we figured it out.” Zayn actually laughs- like genuinely cackles at the memory, and Liam’s glad it’s something they can laugh at now, because it was significantly less funny then.  
  
“I remember when we finally got it in,” Zayn’s speech is punctuated by the thrusts Liam’s giving him now, the pace is building quicker and Liam’s cock is filling him with more purpose now. “And you spunked right then and there.”  
  
Liam protests the memory with a shrill groan and Zayn laughs again. He knows he’s not being entirely fair- especially since then Zayn had at least a few experiences with guys beforehand and Liam had been new to it all. It was cute and endearing, even if had to wank himself off in the shower later and Liam hadn’t been able to look him in the eye properly for a week after. They may not be memories to be proud of, but they’re endearing instances that Zayn’s glad he’s gotten to share with Liam. He likes the idea that between them Zayn was a first for Liam in a lot of ways, and perhaps it’s his possessive streak showing but it feels lighter than that, more sweet and languid.

Liam’s still fucking him but he looks significantly less pleased, and Zayn isn’t one to have that.  
  
“Come on now, stop pouting.” Liam gives him an unimpressed look but Zayn goes to kiss his bottom lip anyway, letting out a soft “ _fuck_ ” when Liam gives a particularly sharp thrust out of vengeance.  
  
Zayn unleashes a flurry of kisses all over the other’s face, and Liam isn’t one to stay upset- especially when it comes to Zayn. He can already feel the softness on his face when Zayn goes flush against the mattress and brings him down to be closer and fuck him deeper.  
  
The impatience is back again- and as much as Zayn loves Liam being in him and filling all him sturdy and blissful- he wants to cum, and the day is new and he knows that Liam will come and give it to him again-hotter, come evening. There’s no rush, but his cock feels awfully different on the matter.  
  
Liam’s with him on it, and he’s pulling out just to push in at the good angle and fuck him proper, pushing Zayn’s legs up nearly to his shoulders and hovering above him so he can watch his face as he’s giving it to him just how he likes it.  
  
“You were the first man I was ever with.” Liam nearly whispers it, and he’s unsure if he’s saying it to Zayn or to himself. It’s a flicker of vulnerability that’s not uncommon to Zayn- not born out of insecurity but of appreciation. Zayn’s done so much to try and weave the softness of Liam into love, to wrap his fingers around and weed out all the insecurities that were sewn there.  He knows there are things, both spoken and unspoken that linger within his lover- bruises, words, experiences that are farther away now but still present within him, and Zayn hates that he wasn’t there at those time to chase the demons away before they could sew their seeds.  
  
Zayn’s looking up at Liam curiously, but Liam’s not looking at him. His gaze is elsewhere, and his thrusts are becoming less intentioned and more distracted but that’s not Zayn’s concern at the moment.  
  
“Look at me.” Zayn says simply, and Liam does, his expression unreadable as he almost slows to a halt inside of him.  
  
Zayn shifts up and lets Liam fall out of him. Liam’s giving him a quizzical look but Zayn knows what he’s doing as he shifts them- pushing Liam back and back until he’s against the headboard and Zayn’s in his lap with his arms around his neck hanging on him.  
  
“I love being your first,” Zayn speaks soft and low as if he’s sharing a secret, as if there’s someone else lurking for a share of their intimacy and Zayn is unwilling. He’s crowded up into his space now and Liam’s instinctively wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist to support him while the man stays only barely away from his face, but close enough for their noses to touch.

Zayn remembers how shy Liam had been in the beginning. Zayn felt like they’d been chasing each other for years (ok, months, but it felt much longer than that) so he didn’t quite understand it at first, why he was so nervous with him, but of course he was.  
  
Liam was always scared he was doing something wrong with him, almost touching him as if he was scared he was going to break him. Zayn kept promising him he wasn’t made of glass but it took ages for Liam to treat him otherwise. There were a thousand nights when Zayn would lie up looking at the ceiling imagining the stars, and something would seem to click in Liam. He’d grab his hand and they would lay there together, Zayn’s tiny wrist in Liam’s broad hands with his thumb working the skin on his wrist. Maybe they didn’t say anything but Zayn felt like they didn’t need to, being allowed these sweet little instances to look into Liam’s vulnerability without the lingering fear of being shut out.  
  
“I love how hard you’re always trying for me,” Zayn’s resting his forehead against Liam’s and he’s fonding again. “How hard you’re always trying for _us_. Even when it wasn’t easy.”  
  
Zayn peppers a kiss on Liam’s nose bridge and he seems less far away. Zayn hates it when Liam’s far from him, next to him but a million miles away. As much as Zayn wishes for it sometimes, he can’t go and chase Liam into his head, away in whatever land he goes to when he’s thinking about something else harder on him. Zayn’s locked out of that, stuck outside the cage door trying to call Liam home when he doesn’t even know where he is.  
  
And he hates being locked out. He hates pounding on the door and not getting an answer, begging Liam to come back, say anything, to just let him in and talk about it and nothing opening. Zayn’s usually the stubborn one but Liam knows how to work him. He never stays upset for long, and usually those instances are summations of a series of miss steps and bad moods left unchecked, feelings left up on high shelves collecting dust until it all crashes down one way or another. He tries to shut himself away but Liam’s too good at coming to him, working him out, too understanding. Even when he’s upset he knows too much, is too empathetic to be cross with him, and when the loves come around he has nothing else left to do but melt into Liam like he always has. Zayn doesn’t know where Liam goes when he’s upset and that scares him. He always wears his heart on sleeve and when he hides it away Zayn’s lost, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to go looking.

They’re both stubborn in that regard.  
  
“And I loved you then. Just like I love you now.”  
  
Liam’s eyes are glassy, but he’s smiling. He’s got him. Zayn reaches up gently to wipe the tears that are sitting on the edge of his ducts.  
  
“Come home, Yeah?” Zayn says it so quietly he barely hears it himself, but Liam’s nodding at him.  
  
“Yeah,” Liam’s going to kiss Zayn now, and Zayn’s compliant. “I’m here.”  
  
Here, right next to him. Where he’ll always end up being.

Suddenly Zayn doesn’t feel so nervous any more.  
  
Zayn grins gently and goes in for another kiss, one, two then three, and he stops counting after that. Somewhere along the way Liam’s slipping his tongue back into his mouth but the motion is saccharine and gentle and out of the need to be close to Zayn, to feel all of him in every way in this moment. Their tongues settle in a slow waltz and Zayn’s shifting up, an unspoken ministration along the lines of ‘ _I love you, get your dick in me please._ ’ Liam catches the motion and gently nudges Zayn’s hips, grabbing the base of his length so he can slide it back into his lover.  
  
Zayn grunts into Liam’s mouth as he sinks back down again, bottoming out rather quickly with Z already being so stretched out. From then out it’s quick work. Liam’s grounded with a new determination to make Zayn feel as good as possible when he knows full well neither of them are apt to last much longer. Zayn’s putting his hands all over his face as he’s kissing him and putting his tongue in his mouth while Liam’s gripping his waist to fuck him down over and over and over again.  
  
Liam’s able to find Zayn’s prostate easily and once he starts hitting it Zayn unravels rather quickly in a string of “Liam _Liam Liam_ - _Ah_!” falling nearly limp in Liam’s lap with his face pushed up against the headboard.  
  
It’s good like this, with each pointed thrust Liam gives Zayn takes and returns with a rhythm of hitched breathes punctuated by moans and whines of his name. Every time Zayn’s bum bottoms out the room devolves into a heavy orchestration of obscene sounding slaps and heavy moans mixing between the both of them.

Liam loves it when Zayn falls apart like this too. Usually Zayn likes to be in control no matter what position he’s in, and Liam loves that too, loves Zayn telling him what to do and how to please him- loves his fingers running down his scalp as he tells him just where to put it and just how to do it. Liam loves being praised and doing right by his lover, loves nothing more than pleasing him until the sun rises and sets again, but its special moments where Zayn lets himself come undone just for Liam. He knows it’s just for his eyes only, and it makes him beam because he feels so special there. Zayn undoes himself like snags in his clothing and Liam’s always there to catch him, to wind him back up and fall to pieces with him because he just wants to be in and near and all around him wherever he goes, no matter what they’re doing.  
  
Zayn’s close- Liam can tell by the way his eyes are shut and he’s barely put together in his Lap- only managing to compose himself long enough to meet Liam’s increasingly desperate thrusts up into his tight heat. Liam moves to kiss along Zayn’s neck, murmuring declarations of love and affection into his skin as he thrusts into him. Zayn barely lasts through his words before he’s cumming-spurting ropes of it all into Liam’s lap and up his stomach while he mutters out a string of curses riddled with Liam’s name again and again and again.  
  
Zayn’s hole is spasming around Liam’s cock and it chokes the orgasm right out of him, filling up the rubber he’s wearing while Liam’s grip on the other’s waist double down as the Zayn’s name lives and dies in his moan.  
  
There’s a least a solid minute or two where neither of them move. It’s intimate with the room swallowing up their labored breaths while they lie in one another, recouping from their high and sucking in one another’s air.  
  
Liam moves first- as he always does, lazily picking his head up from its rested spot on Zayn’s shoulder. He’s running his fingers just barely up and down Zayn’s spine as he lays against him, barely lucid and still chasing the breaths his orgasm wrought from him. Liam’s as gentle as he always is with him now. There’s a little tug when Liam pulls out from him and Zayn whines at the loss of fullness because even if they’re done being full after Liam’s taken such good care of him is still one of his favorite feelings to date. There’s shifting, with Zayn bouncing ever so slightly as Liam moves- probably to toss the condom away and go to get cleaned up. He lets Liam gently lay him down again on the bed, draw up the covers over his naked lower half as the bed dips and Zayn whines softly again because he wants Liam to come back and hold him.  
  
Zayn considers how nice it would be to fall back asleep again, but he knows he ought not to, and instead he cracks open his eyes weakly to stare at the ceiling while he listens to Liam running the faucet in the bathroom.  
  
Liam’s back dutifully by his side with a washcloth- spunk free, to Zayn’s disappointment, but he still preens and sighs contently when Liam gently runs the dump washcloth up his front.  
  
“How’re you feeling love?” Liam murmurs gently and nudges Zayn’s legs up to fit between him and clean him underneath.  
  
Zayn whines when Liam presses against his still sore hole with the washcloth, and Liam kisses his thigh apologetically. “Sleepy.” Zayn mutters.  
  
Liam goes to pick up their discarded underwear on the floor, but Zayn decides Liam is done and rolls over on his side to sleep.  
  
“I guess that means a no to a shower then?” Liam chucks the washcloth and their boxers to the hamper in the corner and settles behind to spoon Zayn.  
  
Liam likes Zayn after the fact. He’s all soft and tired and the only thing he really seems to show real interest in is having Liam close to him, which of course Liam adores. Zayn sighs contently when he feels Liam’s presence, warm and grounding and tender right behind him, and he leans back to settle in his arms.  
  
“Later.” Zayn finally answers, grabbing to drag up the covers over the both of them and encourage Liam to snuggle him harder.  
  
And Liam has to agree, tangled up with his greatest love, sun shining down on them in the afterglow of love making, that Zayn’s right on this one. He doesn’t want to be anywhere else but here, in this moment, with Zayn.  
  
Always with Zayn.

 

.  
.  
.

  
  
_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated! Since it's my first fic if you'd like me to have a sequel you can always suggest as such (may or may not have a few ideas already lined up)! 
> 
> I've combed through for errors but I may not have caught everything so if you see anything, let me know as well.
> 
> Thanks! xx, -Gold


End file.
